Wow...when everything confronts me I never knew how much I truely do love him. And honestly, I like our conversation...It cleared everything up for me. Truth does hurt, but that's okay...I need a relationship built on trust. I haven't been so trust worthy lately anyways...Thats the thing that's been bothering me. I'm turning into something I'm not. I hate it. I can't even describe it. I feel really bad, the only thing I can think about is him being sad and upset and heartbroken. I can't stand it. Hopefully all of this will just topple over and make my life better with no regrets. and just one emotion.
All the pain that I have with him...is when we're not with each other. I miss that. I miss being with him. It makes me feel so much happier.
If I want this blog to be open, I need to be open with Kory too with this blog, I don't need this to be another secret hidden behind the wall. Everything I write always has to do with him, or something and I can't hide it...he has a right to know what I'm saying about him...to know about our relationship...and stuff I can't directly say to him. So how ever my life turns out in the future...I hope it's with him.
Knowing that he's heartbroken...just made me die inside and makes me want to give up. I don't want to give up. Not now...not ever. I just want to resolve it and make everything the way things used to be. I'm not going to give up on him...